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When You See A Bully In Action
Last week I asked a tough question. How we can oppose injustice while demonstrating unconditional grace and forgiveness? I even posed a specific situation and asked what you would do if you observed...
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Does Your Spouse Love You?
“Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28 You probably know a domestic violence victim, or you may be one yourself. Unfortunately,...
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What about Dignity and Respect?
I’ve chosen a misused word as this year’s final word-of-the-week… RESPECT Toward the end of my career I operated my classroom with a single principle: Everyone (including the teacher!) always deserves...
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What are the Results of Your Words?
As someone who has had instances of writer’s block, this scripture frequently comes to mind: Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter anything before God: for God is in...
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Dealing with Self-righteous People
Self-righteous people are just comparing. I never thought about it like that until Don Miller pointed out that self-righteousness is really just a way of building myself up by tearing others down. It’s...
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It’s Your Fault Not Mine!
Margaret sat down in my office and said, “No matter what happens in our marriage, my husband says, ‘It’s your fault not mine.’” I sat in silence and waited for her to say more. Her dark brown curly...
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Forgive and Forget?
“I can’t forget how my dad treats my mother,” Bridget screamed in her counseling session. “So how can I forgive him?” “Why not take this situation one step at a time?” I asked the young woman. Bridget...
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When You Say or Do the Wrong Thing
After the legal separation, I never wanted to say anything against my estranged husband in our son’s presence. After all, my husband was still his father. So much for my good intentions not to say...
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You are Not a Label!
An odd question brings us today’s word-of-the-week… LABELS “What kind of quadriplegic are you?” Seriously. Now I not only have to be labeled as a quad, but there are subcategories? I’m getting really...
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No Christmas Family Reunion for Me!
“I don’t want to go to the Christmas family reunion, Ms. Ortega,” Julia told me in my counseling office. Her hands trembled as she spoke and unbuttoned her sweater. “What makes you say that?” I asked...
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Spiritual Abuse by Spouses or Partners
Spiritual abuse is one form of abuse a spouse or partner uses to exercise power and control over his wife or partner. If she works outside of the home, he refuses to let her tithe on her own income. He...
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What’s Behind the Domestic Violence?
“Why is he angry all the time?” Janelle asked me over a cup of tea. “He explodes over nothing.” “What do you mean?” “He screamed, cursed, stormed out of the house, slammed the door behind him, and...
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What I Assume About You…
What I assume about you, doesn’t tell me much about you. I’ve bumped into the notion of assumptions a lot lately. And whenever I encounter the same idea a bunch of times, I figure perhaps God’s trying...
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How Do You Know If You Suffer from PTSD?
“What’s wrong with me?” Thirty-eight-year-old Charlotte asked me. “What makes you ask that?” She whispered, “When I was a child, my dad beat me almost daily for any little thing.” Her eyes moistened,...
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Are Assumptions Being Made?
ASSUMPTIONS The assumptions people make about you, your story, and your experiences disclose a great deal. They disclose a great deal about the person making the assumptions, and you may wish to pay...
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What Jesus Didn’t Say
A conversation at a new church inspires today’s word-of-the-week… DIDN’T I met a new friend yesterday, and we talked a bit about things Jesus didn’t tell us. For example, He didn’t tell us that people...
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Does a Christian Have to be Nice to Everyone?
“One of the sins of our age is the lack of strong language where evil is concerned.” A very unpleasant and ungodly woman once told me, “A Christian must be nice to everybody.” What she meant was that I...
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Labels as Excuses
Are you “one of those people who …”? I lived in schools for about fifty-two years. K-12, four years of college, and thirty-five years as a teacher—52 of my first 58 years, interrupted by brief stints...
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Men Whose Tongues are Sharp Swords
Men, whose tongues are sharp swords? Yes, some men have tongues like that. Maybe you date men, whose tongues are sharp swords or you’re married to one. What do you do to stop that abusive behavior?...
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